How it all started...

Hi and welcome to my world. 

The world of mental issues, hope and discoveries.

I am Kalina. My family and close friends call me Kala.

I feel like mentioning that I have never written before. I have always thought that writing is not really my thing. Running!  Running was my thing! Rapid, breathless, without rest. Running through life. Running from one thing to another, chasing never ending tasks, doing more and more. All for yesterday. All urgent. All important.

That “doing” mode became my friend. Together with Ms Perfectionist and Ms Not good enough we created an excellent team. Determined, detailed, thorough. The faster the better. No feelings, no reflection, just pushing forward, meeting the expectations of others with a big smile glued to my face. 

Yes...that was definitely my thing…

Until one day. A day when I was painfully forced to stop. I fell over, hit the ground and could not get up! I was so weak that even crawling was not an option. I saw only black and grey around. 

Eating disorder /anorexia/ mental issues made themself comfortable in my life.. 

It took me a while to realise that “my new friends” are just symptoms caused by that blind race.

Sore and bruised I have stepped on the recovery path. With fear and curiosity I  started digging deep inside myself. I learn what it means to feel. I learn to ask for help. I slowly grow my wings. I reach out for wings around me. Wings that can lift me and give me hope. 

Writing is one of my wings. Unexpectedly it became my thing, my comfort, my medicine.

Through my stories I would like to connect to people who, similarly to me, confront their own demons. These nasty creatures can take us to dark, lonely places. However we are never alone and there is always a way out. There are always wings to hold onto.

If you wish, I invite you to take part in my journey to mental health xxx